Better Backyard Barbecues

Posted by David Brummert on



Avoid the same old crappy cookout foods and keep those abs swimsuit ready with these fun summer recipes! 


It’s finally summer! 

Ok, ok... I realize summer started in Florida like two months ago, but now it’s OFFICIALLY summer. And summer is fun! Everyone loves summer! Sun tans. Swimming pools. Grilling out. With July 4th just around the corner, everyone is going to be having some kind of backyard barbecue. Maybe it’s at your house and you get to pick the menu and it’s going to be awesome, because you’re awesome. Or maybe it’s at your friend Kelly’s house, because her pool is bigger (damn you, Kelly!) and you’ve been relegated to “bring something to go along” with whatever she’s making...

Hint: She’s making burgers and hot dogs, just like LITERALLY every other person in the country does on July 4th. 

 I get it. It’s a tradition. It’s easy and cheap. But there’s a REASON it’s cheap: it’s made from things you probably wouldn’t even want your dog eating. (Such a good boy!) Besides the fat-filled mystery meats, there are all kinds of preservatives and sugars in the condiments and buns (not to mention the potato salad that only Uncle Ronnie and the flies ever touch.) And while that sweet tea TASTES pretty damn delicious (especially with a little vodka), it’s filled to the brim with sugar. It’s not exactly doing your abs any favors.

Honestly, I’m sort of surprised you’re still friends with this Kelly lady. She’s flaunting her gaudy pool and feeding you processed crap. 

But I digress...

You’re probably in one of two “summer body” camps: you’ve either worked really hard to get into shape so you can look good in a bathing suit... orrrrr you had a lot going on this spring and are still working to get into that summer shape by the end of summer. Don’t worry... I’m still working on mine, too.

So instead of stuffing your face with mediocre meat, why not try something a little healthier and a little more exciting? Everyone loves fresh, colorful, delicious food and since that wench Kelly isn’t going to feed it to them, YOU might as well be the one to do it.

So, here are a few simple, healthy and RIDICULOUSLY delicious recipes to save you from Kelly’s crappy cookout.

Instead of Frankfurters, try these spectacular-sounding grilled pesto chicken kabobs.

Or this grilled mahi mahi with pineapple salsa

Maybe you and your friends like to go scalloping in the summer. Perfect. Next time, put them in these grilled shrimp and scallop foil packets with corn, potatoes, and chorizo in a lemon-butter sauce. I don’t know about you, but that sounds better than a burger to me. If you want to make them even healthier, substitute the corn and potatoes for summer squash and zucchini!

And oh yea, one of my favorite summer salad recipes of all time. It’s a watermelon spinach salad with blueberries, walnuts, and feta. Do you see the red white and blue in that salad? It’s the most patriotic salad of all time. I’m going to be honest, though. I don’t like walnuts in my salad, so I leave them out. For dressing, I make a ridiculously simple mix of coconut oil and lemon juice. The cold fruit will make the coconut oil thicken just a bit and stick to the spinach and the lemon juice adds a nice zest to the blend of flavors.

If that’s not enough red, white, and blue for you, add this berry and cool whip pie as a dessert to the main course. 

What’s Kelly think about that? Nothing, because you didn’t invite her. She’s kind of a snob. Or if you do invite her and want to slap her in the mouth with how much more amazing your parties are than hers, then serve these green tea hibiscus popsicles.

You’ve also got to have something refreshing to drink on a hot summer day, don’t you? 

Of course you do!

And while there’s nothing like a nice cold beer on a hot day, drinking that kind of six pack isn’t going to help YOUR six pack. 

Try making this iced green tea with lavender, hibiscus, or chamomile to keep everyone cool. Maybe add some Vodka to it in the kitchen when everyone else is outside for a second. Or, just enjoy it like it is. 

Either way, it’s summer! Live a little!

And remember: Use your powers for good!